Woman Goes No Contact With Her Son After He Chooses His Father’s Side in Divorce, Years Later, She Wants to Make Amends But He Refuses

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 13, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. It's a cruel world we live in to think that a mother would ever go no contact with her son, but I guess there are always exceptions. Going no contact with someone is just wildly black and white; it leaves no room for atonement, understanding, or resolution. In my opinion, it's immature. Everyone makes mistakes, and holding it over the person like you're their judge, jury, and executer is just ridiculous, especially when it comes to family. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a man whose parents got divorced when he was 17. His dad almost died, which resulted in him moving in with his father, to watch over him. Although it was an addiction related overdose, he was just a teenager and shouldn't be held accountable forever for his empathy towards his father's life. But that's exactly what his mother does; she doesn't forgive him, until she sees decades later that he's married. Read the full story for yourself to make your opinion. 

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  • 01
    That changed when I was 23. My mom asked me to come over, and she told me she was still angry and disappointed that I chose my dad over her after the divorce. She said I was ungrateful for everything she went through,
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  • 02
    r/AITAH 12 hr. ago Cold Reaction9554 AITA for refusing to meet my mom after she went no contact with me for over a decade?
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  • 03
    So, a little background: I'm 35M, and my parents divorced when I was 17. My dad struggled with alcohol and drug addiction, and my mom eventually left him, which I totally understood and supported. Living with him was impossible; he wasn't violent but verbally abusive and he spent all our money on his habits. That was the last straw for my mom.
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  • 04
    After the divorce, my dad spiraled ―he nearly overdosed and ended up in the ICU. I was living with my mom at the time, but I was scared that my dad would die, so I moved back with him and my uncle's family. My mom was disappointed but let me make my choice.
    via u/Cold Reaction9554
  • 05
    Losing my mom, most of his friends, going broke, nearly dying finally got through to my dad, and he promised he would get better for me. It was hard to watch, but he actually turned things around. My uncle paid for everything-rehab, therapy, medical bills and after about 5 years, my dad was clean and
    via u/Cold Reaction9554
  • 06
    somewhat healthy again. He even apologized to my mom, and she forgave him, though she told me later it was only for my sake so that they could be civil at future events like my graduation or wedding. Over those years, I kept in contact with my mom, regularly met with her. She had moved on and met a great guy, who she
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  • 07
    eventually married. She was much happier and I was happy for her. I thought we had a pretty good relationship.
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  • 08
    That changed when I was 23. My mom asked me to come over, and she told me she was still angry and disappointed that I chose my dad over her after the divorce. She said I was ungrateful for everything she went through, putting up with my dad's , and then she hit me with something
    via u/Cold Reaction9554
  • 09
    that still me off today. She told me she could see me becoming a drunk and drug addict like my dad because I stayed close to him. I don't drink I don't do drugs to this day, and I had no idea where that even came from. I was floored. I thought we had moved past all that, but apparently, she'd been
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  • 10
    that, but apparently, she'd been harboring resentment for years.
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  • 11
    Then, she said that she wanted to go no contact with me because being around me brought back too many bad memories of my dad. She said she had found peace and happiness, and I was a reminder of all the pain she'd been through. I didn't know what to say except, "Okay." I later found out from a cousin on her
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  • 12
    side that her whole family was at me for staying with my dad back then, and they all went no contact with me for her sake saying that I betrayed her. I haven't seen or heard from my mom since that day.
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  • 13
    Fast forward to now: my dad passed away two years ago from a heart attack, a result of his years of addiction, despite being clean for over a decade he had lingering medical issues.
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  • 14
    I recently got married, and my wife posted some pictures from the wedding on Facebook. My wife said a woman claiming to be a cousin contacted her. I looked at the message and it was cousin from my mom's side, asking if it was really me in the pictures with my full name. I told my wife to ignore it, but then I got a call
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  • 15
    from my uncle later that same day, saying that my mom showed up at his house. For context, the house where my uncle lives currently used to be the home where I grew up with my parents.
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  • 16
    My uncle said she asked him to arrange a meeting between us, saying she wants to apologize to me face to face. He told me he can set it up if I want.
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  • 17
    Honestly, after all these years, I feel nothing for her except maybe slight resentment for thinking that I would turn out as an addict. I was going to say no right away, but my wife thinks that's a thing to do and I should at least hear her out, let her apologize, and then go back to never seeing her again if I want. She says
    via u/Cold Reaction9554
  • 18
    despite what she did, she did shield me from most of dad's addictions growing up. Now I'm second thoughts. AITA if I having refuse to meet her?
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  • 19
    Excellent_Ad1132 • 11h ago NTA. But I am wondering if you are an only child. Her reasoning might be that since you got married, you might also be having kids and she wants to be a grandmother. You have to think about what her ulterior
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  • 20
    motive might be and this is what I come up with.
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  • 21
    Cocoa AlmondsRock • 9h ago NTA. You have to go with your gut. It has been 10 years, and she has discovered that you didn't become an addict and instead have created a happy life. You're married --
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  • 22
    which means there could be grandkids in the future. Are you happy without her? If you've moved on without that side of the family, if you've created your own happy family, then why rock that boat? Your wife may not be able to let it go, though, and if you turn your mother
    via u/Cocoa AlmondsRock
  • 23
    down, you're going to have a lot of flying monkeys contacting you and your wife to tell you how cruel you're being. I couldn't deal with that, personally. I don't do drama. She made a choice, and you've respected it. I'd say
    via u/Cocoa AlmondsRock
  • 24
    no and be ready with the block feature.
    via u/Cocoa AlmondsRock

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family drama drama mother family feud relationships parenting lol divorce love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating Father
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